Motherhood Redefined

Children and obesity

2009-07-07T18:34:00.000-07:00

I just watched a clip on the Today Show talking about the increase in obesity in our country. I find this fact rather upsetting especially because the rates of children that are obese is increasing also at a rate that should be disturbing to everyone. Children are at the mercy of their parents for their nutrition for most of their young lives. As parents, we must be concerned at this growing rate of unhealthy children. As many overweight people will tell you, once you are overweight it is very difficult to get the weight off. These children are being set up for a lifestyle that is unhealthy and negatively affects their self esteem. As many parents have busy schedules I know it is easier to pick up take out or buy something from the grocery store that just needs to be heated up. The question is, do you want to do what is easier or do what is right? Yes, taking the time to make a healthy dinner every night can be more time consuming but it just takes a little planning and you are setting the tone for the rest of your child's life. There are plenty of good websites out there now on healthy cooking and quick healthy recipes. Also, don't rely on your school to give your child a healthy hot lunch. Take a look at what they are eating and you may be unpleasantly surprised. Having them take their lunch from home is often the better choice. You can at least control somewhat what they are eating. This responsibility of feeding our children healthy meals must be taken seriously by parents or we are setting our children up for serious health issues and emotional challenges as they head into adult hood.

Summer time, fun or frustrating?

2009-06-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

Kids are excited all over the U.S. as school gets out for the summer. They are looking forward to sleeping in, no homework, hanging out with their friends and just having fun! What are you looking forward to this summer? Are you excited or stressed out? For those of you who work outside the home, it means finding someone to watch your kids while you are working. For stay-at-home moms, it means finding ways to keep them entertained all day. Summer is here and your situation, whatever it may be, is what it is. Don't let it stress you out. Instead, decide you are going to enjoy your summer with your family and trust that the right opportunities will be presented to you. If you need someone to help watch your kids, ask friends if they know of anyone. There are certainly people out there looking for a little extra income. If you aren't in a position to pay someone, what can you offer in return? Be creative and brainstorm. If you are just trying to keep them entertained, sit down with your kids and ask them what they want to do. You may be surprised at some of the simple and easy ideas they have. What do you want to do for fun this summer? How about just exploring the city you live in? There are many museums and attractions that are free. Have a garage sale to make a few bucks and spend it on something fun! Create something new out of something old with paint or decoration. Give everyone "their day" a day to do what they want, and that includes you. Decide to have a great, memorable summer and just do it!

Credit card companies out of control!

2009-05-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

When will someone step in and start slapping the hands of the credit card companies that have yet to take their hand out of the cookie jar? How can they continue to get away with the ridiculously high interest rates, late fees, annual fees and over the limit fees? Many consumers are in a place right now where they need the credit card companies to act responsibly and start helping consumers get through this economy. I myself have called my credit card companies to ask them to lower my interest rates so I can lower some monthly payments right now. Instead of helping consumers so they can continue to make payments, they punish them by increasing fees and interest rates. How does this make sense? If someone is already having problems making a monthly payment how does it help to do nothing or increase their payment? If credit card companies were smart they would start lowering the interest rates, give consumers a month or two of no payments and work out a payment plan that works for the consumer. Isn't is better to get paid in the long run in full rather than not get paid at all? This is a premium opportunity for a few credit card companies to rise to the occasion and be the hero. It would be nice to see a credit card company separate them selves from the pack and have the guts to step forward and say "We are putting our clients first." Let's see if any of the companies out there have the guts to be innovative and rise above the vulture mentality of most credit card companies!

Are You a Bad Mom?

2009-04-20T15:47:00.000-07:00

We all have those days when we secretly wish we weren't a mom today. It's okay, I just said it for all of us and we all say it and it doesn't mean you're a bad mom. We all have those days when, as a friend of mine says, we want to smack our kids into next week! It doesn't mean you don't love your kids anymore, but it is okay to not like them for the moment. Maybe you are just having a tough day or maybe your kids are just being brats, either way, know it is okay to secretly wish you were not a mom today. I know moms who have a lot of these moments. Some simply seem to be able to cope with more chaos, more messes and more yelling than others. God bless them. I am not in that group. I am the first one to say that I am not a not a multiple child person. I can handle two. I can handle my son and one friend. That is it. If there are more kids, I require more parents. It is just how I am built. I am amazed at my friends that can have a house full of kids running around and not blink an eye. I love them for that as my son is often one of those kids. I do my best to have my share of play dates but I have to work it around my work schedule as I have a home office. I can honestly say that I am not a big fan of play dates either as I have enough things in my life to plan let alone my son's social life. I just like to let things happen naturally like when I was a kid. Back then, a friend stopped by and asked "Do you want to play?" and off we went. What happened to that? I would like to know who started play dates! Oh well, off to run my son to practice as it is now time to put my chauffeur hat on. That is a whole separate blog!

Life is ?????

2009-04-09T21:04:00.001-07:00

Life is ???? How would you finish that sentence? Life is hard. Life is fun. Life is not fair. Life is an adventure. How you finish that sentence says quite a bit about your current emotional state. It may also give you a clue as to why you are feeling the way you are right now. If someone asked you to finish that sentence right now what would you say? This could be one of those "aha moments" for you. If your sentence would be "Life is hard" do you think you might be creating a life that is harder than it needs to be? If your sentence is "Life is not fair" do you seem to get into situations where the outcome doesn't seem fair? How about if your sentence is "Life is fun", do you think you might be enjoying your life? Try this, just for fun, say Life is _____. Fill in the blank with a few different words, both positive and negative. How do you feel when you finish the sentence with a positive word versus a negative word? I feel a difference, do you? If you initially finished that sentence with a negative word, come up with a positive word, one that you believe. Write it down and start saying your new "Life is" sentence every day. See if things in your life start to change, especially your outlook on life. If you initially finished that sentence with a positive word than good for you!!! Write it down and start saying it every day. It is a great way to start and finish your day. Have a great day because Life is Amazing!!!

Just Walk Away

2009-03-29T21:32:00.000-07:00

As I am now older and wiser I have found great benefit in just "walking away." There are those rare times when I get frustrated with my children, husband or work and I have come to find I can calm myself fairly quickly if I just walk away for a few minutes. I don't walk away in a huff or with an attitude. I simply say " I need to walk away for a moment, but I will be back." I find a place where I can be alone for a few minutes or five minutes if I really need it. I breathe, I talk to myself and I see the situation resolving in a way that is positive for all involved. When I return to my son, husband or work, I find I am in a calm state of mind which is conducive to a positive resolution. Physically walking away from the tense or frustrating situation releases stress for me. Removing myself changes my energy just long enough that I can clear my head. I always go back and my family knows I will come back to talk through a situation or event that was frustrating for all involved. I don't walk away and leave something or someone hanging. My family knows that when mom walks away, they better do some thinking themselves because mom will be coming back and will want some intelligent discussion. I prefer not to react to a situation because I am caught up in the heat of the moment. Walking away has proved to be a stress reducer and creates an opportunity for good communication since everyone has had a few minutes to calm down and think clearly.

2009-03-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

Ok ladies, this may not seem very "motherhoody" but really, anything that affects our families concerns us moms. So here are my thoughts on the current leader of our country. I speak my mind about this because, like you, we all want to preserve our American freedoms and want them to be there for our children.

Many people have the idea that Obama just needs time or that he really doesn't know what he's doing. Well of course he needs time (but be wary of what he intends to do with that time) and I think he knows exactly what he's doing. The question is do most Americans know what he's doing? Do they understand what he's actually trying to accomplish with his time? That's the scary part.

It appears as though he is aggressively laying the ground work and taking action that all smell very much like Socialism. Simple as that. So the "let's just give him time" mentality is a dangerous state of mind. Go with your instincts people. That feeling of uncertainty and apprehension about the choices our new leader is making are warning signs. Don't ignore them.

No country has ever risen to the greatness that The United States has, and that didn't happen by allowing the government to dictate how much or little income we make, what kind of health care we want, running the banking systems, penalizing us to death for creating our own success and on and on. We have the freedom here to fail or succeed of our own volition. That's the beauty of America.

The more we follow Obama down HIS chosen path for us, the fewer freedoms we will have to live our lives the way we choose - for those choices will be diminished from infinite to very finite.
I'm sure Obama is a wonderful human being. Not so sure that he's the right person to make America a greater version of itself.

There is a shift occurring - we must pay close attention.

Thanks,
Loree

Laugh Until You Cry

2009-03-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

When is the last time you laughed so hard you cried? I just had one of those gut busting laughs a few days ago. It is amazing how good you feel when you just laugh! I have two or three of these "almost pee my pants" laughs every year. It is such a release that all I can do is just sit for a moment before I can even stand up again. I think we all need to laugh more, especially now, to just release the tension. I have a few emails I have kept for a long time that I look at every once in a while because they make me laugh. I have bought a couple of movies that I watch every few months because I know they are going to make me laugh. Just talking about things that have made you laugh in the past, can make you laugh again. I suggest you take some time every weekend to find or do things that make you laugh. I love to make my son laugh because when he laughs hard it makes me laugh, which makes him laugh, which makes me laugh and, you get the idea. As we all know, laughter is contagious so start laughing more - it is free and that is something we can all use right now!

Just Trying to Make a Phone Call

2009-03-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

Making a phone call these days to a company to change information or simply ask a question has turned into a 20 minute ordeal. I just cringe every time I have to call a credit card company, insurance company or financial institution. I am sure they have a reason for using all the automated voice commands but it is extremely annoying. First, they keep talking when you just want to give your information, then they don't understand you, then you have to give your information again when you finally do get a live person - what is the point of giving it all in the beginning if you have to repeat your info again? I don't know about you but I am always pleasantly surprised when a real person is my first point of contact. My time is valuable and spending it talking to an automated person is not how I like to spend it. How about when you call and you spend 10 -15 minutes waiting and then you get disconnected? That can send you right into a tail spin! Then the poor person who ends up finally picking up the phone now is the recipient of both your initial problem and your phone call ordeal! Wouldn't it be nice if we could just go back to talking to a live person right off the bat? It would be much more pleasant and I wouldn't feel so much like just a number.

Guard Your Mind

2009-02-25T13:27:00.000-08:00

Now more than ever, I think it is imperative to fill your mind with positive stuff. The news talks about how bad the economy is, people talk about how bad the housing market is, newspapers and magazines are flooded with "How to stay afloat" articles. I know you have heard this before but don't fall into the trap of the "self-fulfilling prophecy" and create a negative situation. We need to be diligent about our self talk and consciously fill our minds with positive thoughts. For example, if someone says to me "The economy is horrible and it is only going to get worse." I say "The economy is what it is and I choose to focus on all the wonderful things in my life right now." Stop the negative comments in their tracks so you don't get sucked into them. Read positive books, write down a few positive affirmations and say them every morning and every night. Relish in your family and the little things that bring joy to your life everyday. I am currently re-reading "Think and Grow Rich". This is a fabulous book that talks directly about how you think and how that affects everything in your life. Choose to be positive, choose to focus on the good things in your life right now. The economy, the housing, the job market is what it is - how you choose to be in relation to those things is up to you!!

Sitting in the Dark

2009-02-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

I just recently made our move from Spokane to Phoenix. It was a whirlwind the past 3 weeks! Just a couple of days after we moved in, I had had my limit of "where is the..." or "do we have any ..." or "I can't find..."! My head was about to pop off and I just wanted to be left alone and have some quiet time. As it was time for my husband to put my son to bed, I noticed they were glued to the TV and no one was moving towards the bedroom. I decided I was not going to just leave them be and go take a bath. As I started to run the water, I decided I was going to try to be invisible. I was very quiet, shut my door, turned off all the lights in my room and bathroom and climbed into the tub. There I sat, in the dark, in a nice hot bathtub! The light from the stars and the moon gave me just a glimmer of light. It was quiet! I just sat there, not moving and taking deep, relaxing breaths. I don't think I have ever taken a bath in the dark but for some reason it was exactly what I needed to shut everything out and just be. It took my husband and son about 20 minutes to realize I was gone and then I could hear them looking for me. It was actually quite funny because they didn't come into my room as it was dark and I wasn't making a sound. Finally, I decided it was time to get out as I think they were starting to worry that I had wondered off somewhere. It was the most relaxing 20 minutes I have had in a long time.

I Don't Like You Anymore!

2009-02-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

Remember when you were 10 years old and if you got upset you could just say "I don't like you anymore" and stomp off? Sometimes I wish I was 10 again when I am having one of those moments with my son. As with most kids, he can have melt downs over the smallest issues. Well, today was one of those days and I was just not in the mood to be "mom". All I wanted to do was turn to him and yell "I don't like you anymore" and stomp off. As I am not 10 anymore, my adult mind chimed in telling me that is really not acceptable since I am the parent. Standing there in my moment of indecision, I finally decided to do nothing. I just turned and walked away without saying a word. I was in the middle of drying his hair and I simply put the brush down, put the blow dryer down and said "I am done, go get your shoes on." I was very proud of myself as he was really pushing my buttons and I was getting very frustrated. There is always that half second when you can go from on the edge to being very upset or you can go to being calm. One of my Intentional Intentions this year is to not get sucked into his meltdowns and get upset but to be calm and find a way to work through these moments. I think the fact that I just walked away confused my son and he wasn't sure what just happened. He changed his attitude and came and told me he was sorry. I took this moment to talk about what happened and how it made both of us feel. We all have patterns of how we act in certain situations and we usually get the same outcome. I have decided to be conscious about my usual pattern when it comes to his meltdowns. Today I responded differently and received a different much better outcome. I might just be on to something here!

What must go?

2009-01-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

As I get older, I seem to get more passionate about spending my time wisely. Things that seemed important last year, 5 years ago and even 10 years ago are less important or don't really matter at all anymore. I realize that spending 15 minutes answering my sons never ending questions is how I want to spend my time. Not spending those 15 minutes cleaning up the living room, not so important. I simply seem to truly understand that I get one chance to live every second of my life. I will never get that second back so if I can, I choose what feels best. Yes, sometimes I don't always get to choose what feels best. I do have to spend time paying the bills or working on the budget for a client but I am conscious about when I do those things. I make it a priority to spend time with my family in the evenings and on the weekends and do my best to work when they are not around or at least try to keep it between normal working hours. I am also very clear about things I simply don't like doing. I don't like cleaning my house, I would rather spend my time doing something I enjoy, so I pay someone else to clean my house. I also don't like doing laundry but my husband doesn't mind so he does the laundry. I enjoy keeping family journals, which is also a great way to record our life for my son, so I try to spend time each week writing. I have noticed that just saying "I have one chance to live this moment" makes a difference in the choices I make each day. If you need a powerful reminder of how precious your time is, try incorporating this sentence into your daily life.

Cleaning Out the Clutter

2009-01-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

Five days ago I had no idea I would be moving. Now I have about 2 weeks to pack, try to get doctors appointments in, get my son into the new school and change addresses for everything under the sun. Life can certainly change fast. I have come to embrace these unexpected changes and look forward to the new adventures that come with change. Is it going to be a little chaotic the next two weeks? Of course, but everything that needs to get done will get done. One thing about moving is that it forces you to go through what you own and clean out the old stuff. Our first action step was going through the whole house and deciding what we didn't want to take with us. Then we put the items up on Craigslist and they all sold like hotcakes! It was fun to get all this cash within two days. I don't know what it is, but selling stuff is fun. It makes room for new things in your life and clears away the clutter. It is amazing how long we hold on to stuff. It is so much nicer to let go of our stuff and let someone else enjoy it. Almost everyone who came and picked up their new items were excited and thankful for the good deal. For me it is a good reminder to let go of things more often - both physically and emotionally. It is so easy to hold on to the old but holding on keeps the new things from entering your life. If you have a few minutes, look around and see what it is time to let go of and look forward to something new.

Who is my Battery Charger?

2009-01-15T21:29:00.000-08:00

My sister has a saying that "As moms, we are the battery chargers". Everyone in the family comes to us to re-charge. We give them pep talks, tell them how wonderful they are, turn a bad mood into a good mood and give a positive spin to less than positive situation. Who, then, is our battery charger? Where do we go to get charged? If you are like me, sometimes it is a friend, your sister, your mom or sometimes it not a person but an activity or place. Once in a while though, I find myself in the position where I am spent. I have given all my good energy to the family and I don't have any left for myself. I don't want to talk to anybody else and I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. These times are particularly difficult as this is when I want to give up, go away for a month and just not be responsible for anyone or anything. I love my family but once in a while I dream of just being alone and irresponsible. These moments may not last very long but I do have them. As a mom, this then brings up feelings of guilt for being selfish. It can be an unpleasant circle. I find as I get older that I can work through these "give up" moments quicker and am not so hard on myself for having these feelings. After talking with friends and family, I have come to learn that I am certainly not alone and that I don't have to feel guilty about just wanting some space from my family sometimes. If you are having these "moments" also, just know you are not alone.

The Downward Spiral

2009-01-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

I have to say, I am getting rather tired of hearing how bad things are and that they are going to get worse. Why is it people like to focus on what is wrong rather than what is right? Why can't we, as human beings, simply decide to focus on all the good things that are going on? Actually, we can. We just have to choose to think this way. I, for one, have made it my Intention this year to focus on the positive. I normally try to do this anyway, but now more then ever, I think it is imperative to shield myself from this downward spiral the media is focusing on. Yes, I know the economy is not quite what we would like it to be. Yes, I know the automotive industry is hanging on by its fingernails and yes, I know the housing industry is not the best it has ever been. I recognize and acknowledge these situations and choose to focus on the good in all of it. The down turn in the economy gives us all a chance to support each other however we can. The automotive industry has to take a good hard look at how they have been doing business and start taking responsibility for some bad decisions they have made. The housing industry means some of us simply have to stay put a little longer and those in trouble may need some help from friends and family. We also have to start making the lenders and brokers who were greedy start assisting the people they gave those loans to. I for one plan on having a wonderful, successful, prosperous year. The media doesn't get to decide what type of year I am going to have, I get to decide.

I don't have time to be sick!

2009-01-12T21:39:00.000-08:00

I find it interesting that every year my son gets sick and my husband gets sick but I rarely even get the sniffles. I can't remember the last time I was really sick. My son gets sick because he is in school and the kids just keep passing the germs around. My husband on the other hand just hears that someone might be feeling sick and the next thing we know he has what they were talking about. I can still hug and kiss them, drink from the same glass, get breathed on by them and I remain as healthy as can be. I think it has to do with the fact that I am simply too busy to be sick. I also tell myself I feel great, even when I am not quite so great. I truly believe it is mind over matter. My husband is continually amazed that I manage to swim in germs and come out unscathed while someone can say the word "sick" and he comes down with something. It must be another one of my special mom skills. It goes along with being able to do about 5 things at once, know where every single thing has been left when it can't be found and being able to function on 4 hours of sleep. Well, someone is coughing and someone else is moaning so I guess that is my cue to administer the dosages, drug them into sleep and prepare for battle tomorrow.

New Year Transition

2009-01-04T22:51:00.000-08:00

The holidays are over and it is time to take down the decorations, get the kids back to school and get back into your regular routine - whatever regular is. Do you feel a sense of relief? A little depressed? Or are you anxious about what this year will bring? I like to take some time during this transition from the old year to the new year to just think. I like to think about last year and write down my most memorable events. I write down a few things I accomplished that I am especially proud of, a few things that made me laugh, how I grew, what I learned and how I made my life and others lives better. I then take some time to think about my intentions for the upcoming year. Are there some specific goals I want to accomplish, some things I want to change about myself or things I am proud of that I don't want to change? I also re-visit goals that I am currently working on and adjust them as necessary. My New Year is a time for me to spend some quiet time with myself and just reflect on my life where it is at this moment. I give thanks for all the blessings in my life and thank God for all the blessings to come. Enjoy your New Year and where you are right now in your life!

Keeper of Things

2008-12-17T22:37:00.000-08:00

How is it that we become the keeper of things? Why is it we are always supposed to know where everything is? I keep telling my family that if they put things back where they got them they would know where they were. Why is this so hard to do? The silverware always goes in the same place, your socks always go in the same drawer, the towels are always on the same shelf. Why is it so hard to put toys back in the same place or put keys in the same place every time? If I kept track of all the time in a day I spent telling or usually showing one of my family members where the lost item is, I would have an extra hour a day! I have started saying "I don't know where it is, why don't you try remembering where you last saw it or look for it." Once they spend time at least looking for it, then I am more willing to help them find it. The one that drives me the most crazy is the "I can't find it." I then reply "Did you look in xyz?" "Yes", they say, so I get up and go look and sure enough it is right there but slightly behind something else. Is there some rule that says you are not allowed to move items to see behind them? I don't know if it is a gift or a curse to remember where everything is all the time. I wonder if I just stop helping them find things if they would eventually start remembering where they put things? Maybe I should start collecting things and then make them pay me to get them back. Could be a lucrative part time job!

What am I Grateful for?

2008-12-11T12:15:00.000-08:00

Two years ago we were sitting in the doctors office when my husband received the news he had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My husband lost all the color in his face and was immediately nauseous. I tried not to cry. As the doctor explained our options, I started writing everything down as I knew we would not remember anything when we got home as we were in shock. Upon returning home, my husband just sat on the couch in disbelief. I immediately got on the computer and started doing research. We also called our family and gave them the news. The other thing I did, which I believe played in big part in my husbands mental state, was tell people exactly what they were and were not allowed to say to him. There would be no "I'm so sorry" or "Oh, my, you have cancer." Not on my watch!!! Everyone was instructed to be positive and says things like "What are your plans for treatment and getting healthy again" or "If anyone can be successful at staying positive through this, it is you!" After doing my research, I immediately changed his diet and eliminated all sugar - yes, all sugar! Was it hard for him? A little, but I just gave him the choice of "health or sugar?" I made sure he ate healthy, drank a lot of water and supported his system with the right supplements. We watched only comedy and positive shows on TV, no negativity of any kind was allowed in our house. We decided to get treatment at the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Tulsa as they use both traditional and non-traditional treatments. This decision would turn out to be the best one we could have ever made. They have been beyond fabulous throughout his treatment. They were amazed at his mental state, how well he responded to the treatment and how quickly he overcame Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He was declared 100% healthy a year ago and at his last scan one week ago he is still 100% healthy. So what am I grateful for this year? I am grateful that my husband is here with us, 100% healthy and following his passions! I feel blessed everyday when I wake up and see him lying next to me. Happy Holidays!

Red Flags

2008-12-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

I really enjoy this time of year but sometimes at work and at home things can start to pile up and suddenly some small thing breaks the camel's back. The good news is that I have learned to recognize these moments for exactly what they are - red flags! Red flags show up in the form of snapping at an employee for not making enough copies, getting frustrated with the little old lady chatting with the check out clerk or yelling at your kids for not hanging up their coats. These everyday occurrences usually don't even ruffle me at all but when they do, I know it is time to dis-engage for about 20 minutes. I need to change my "state" both physically and emotionally. I do this by either taking a walk or sitting in a quiet place. I then start doing a little bit of self talk and ask myself what is it that is truly affecting my mood? I have learned that if I ask myself this question and pay attention to the first few things that come into my head that 99% of the time these are really the things that need to be addressed. I then take a few minutes to do some deep breathing to release any tension in my body. Then I take some time and think about how I can change how these items affect my mood. At the end, I simply just be quiet and take in my surroundings and focus on getting centered again. This whole process only takes me about 20 minutes but I always feel refreshed and have a new perspective on my day. I have learned to not ignore those little red flags when they pop up as they can turn into flying bricks and really do some damage.

A Time to Give Hope

2008-12-07T20:51:00.000-08:00

As a mom and a business owner, it can be easy to let work overflow into what should be family time. For some reason around this time of year we can feel like we need to accomplish certain things at work before the end of the year. I don't know why, but the end of the year feels like some sort of deadline. Over the past few years I have make a conscious decision to lighten my work load from Thanksgiving through the New Year. I love the holidays and I tend to get disappointed when I feel I can't truly enjoy the season because my work interferes. I like going to the malls just to see all the decorations. I love driving around neighborhoods at night and seeing all the lights. I look forward to getting our tree and decorating it. What I enjoy the most is giving gifts to everyone. I love to give presents! We also have our family traditions like taking a day to make cookies. I think this is such a wonderful time of year where we can focus on our families and friends and make a difference in other people's lives. Even now with so many things in our world that seem to be upside down, I still love the season. I think I enjoy it even more because now more than ever it is important to support all of our families and friends. There are also many people who are struggling and need someone to believe in them and give them a hand up. We need to take the time and be the person who gives someone else hope. Enjoy the season!

Holiday Gifts

2008-12-01T21:51:00.000-08:00

We, like others, are watching our spending this holiday season. Not only has our family decided to cut back on the gift giving but we have decided we are going to make many of our gifts. People are so busy these days that it is just easier to buy presents but it is always so nice to receive something that someone has made special for you. I was in JoAnn's the other day and wandered around the store looking for just a couple of items for a project my son was doing. As I wandered around I saw so many things that I thought would be fun to make and give as gifts. I decided I am going to bring my son back to the store with me so he can help decide what we should make for our family gifts this year. We can make picture frames or collages, jewelry, ornaments, purses, blankets or pillows, garden signs and so many other things. I am looking forward to getting creative and spending the time with my son making our gifts this year. I know my family will love their gifts as it always means so much when those little fingers are involved. These are also the gifts that are kept for years to come and truly cherished. I have also come to realize that I really enjoy creating things as it is relaxing to me and also gives me a sense of accomplishment. I also love the reactions from people when they realize I made it rather than bought it. I just seems to mean a little more. If you are stressing over spending this holiday season take a stroll through a craft store and I think you will be surprised at how many options there are and also how simple many of the items are to make. Happy crafting!

What is Bored?

2008-11-29T22:31:00.000-08:00

I honestly don't remember the last time I was bored. My son says it and my husband says it once in a while and I just look at them and wonder "How can you be bored?" How can anyone be bored in this day and age? Every once in a while I daydream about being bored. What would that be like to not have anything to do? Obviously if you are a mom, you have not been bored since the day your kids were born. Wouldn't it be nice to be bored? That would mean you could take a nap or just sit and read or take a nice long walk. I have to consciously set time aside to do something for myself or I would be going 24/7. I never run out of things to do or places to go or tasks that need to be handled. It would be nice to run out of things to do and suddenly say "I'm bored!" I don't think I will ever be bored. I treasure those times when I am able to just sit and do nothing. At these times I am far from being bored. I am busy soaking up the peace and quiet or letting myself re-energize. I have pretty much cured my family of saying "I'm bored" as they are now assigned a task when I hear them say it. They have learned that "bored" is like a bell going off for me signaling someone needs something to do. I am always more than happy to help someone from being bored.

Can I Just Go To The Bathroom?

2008-11-23T20:29:00.001-08:00

Why is it that your family suddenly needs you when you are either on the phone, in the bathroom or trying to take a nice quiet bath? It is like they have radar that says "oh, mom is trying to do something that doesn't include us!" Like today, for example, I am literally just sitting down to go to the bathroom when my husband's phone rings. He yells up the stairs "Honey, do you have Tami's phone number?" "Yes", I yell back. Silence for about 10 seconds and then "Can you give me her number?" "Just give me a minute, I am in the bathroom" I answer back. Silence for a couple of more seconds and then "Where do you have her number?" I tell him it is on my cell phone. "Where's your cell phone?" "In my purse", I say. "Where's your purse?" he hollers. At this point I am thinking "Are you kidding me?" I just need one minute to go to the bathroom and I can't even do that in peace. He seems to be able to convey from my silence that I am not enjoying the hollering up and down the stairs from the bathroom so he says "Never mind, I will find it." After a less than relaxing minute in the bathroom, I come downstairs to check on the status of the phone number search. He seems to have found the phone number and is in deep conversation on the phone. All I can do at this point is laugh as I replay this little exchange in my head. Could it really not have waited for 2 minutes until I came out of the bathroom? The price we pay for our "I want it now" syndrome.

Home Office Stress

2008-11-20T22:39:00.000-08:00

I have been working from a home office for quite a few years now. I forget how challenging it can be when one first starts working from home. Every once in a while I talk with someone who has just started working from home and finding it very difficult. It is especially difficult if you left a corporate job where you were surrounded by colleagues all the time. You started at a certain time, had breaks at specified times, went to lunch with friends and left the office at a certain to go home. Now suddenly you don't even have to get dressed to go to work. The schedule change and the lack of interaction with other employees can be very hard on some people. I transitioned a little easier than most because I had a corporate job with irregular hours and I traveled a lot so I was not the office on a regular basis. Even so, my biggest hurdle when I started working from home was ending work at a reasonable hour every day. I felt I had to keep working as I now had my own business and needed to work longer hours to make it a success. I eventually hired a business coach to help me as I was exhausted and starting to resent my home office. I couldn't leave the office and go home! My coach was a life saver and gave me some great tools to regain some control over my time again. The first and most important tool was to stick to a scheduled start time and end time as much as possible. The second tool that worked for me was making a short list at the end of the day of the items I didn't get to but will work on tomorrow. Everything isn't always going to get done everyday and that was hard for me to accept. I also had to leave my desk for lunch and at least once a week go out for lunch, even if it was by myself. I found out how important it was for me to get out and change the scenery around me. Years later I still use these tools and enjoy working from my home office. I would be hard pressed to go back to a corporate nine to five career. I truly enjoy the freedom of my home office.

Dinner or a Hot Poker in the Eye?

2008-11-18T21:49:00.000-08:00

What's for dinner? I don't know if I would rather be poked in the eye with a hot stick or just repeatedly bang my head against the wall but I would take either one over the daily question of "what's for dinner?" My dream is to have a chef make dinner for me every night. I look forward to the nights when my husband is not home because it means we can just eat mac-n-cheese or even cereal for dinner. The daily ritual of figuring out what to make for dinner, setting the table, cooking and then cleaning up is akin to slow torture. Sure there are times I don't mind making dinner but the fact that it has to be done 24/7 is enough to make one, well, poke themselves in the eye with a hot poker! Maybe the problem is that there are only so many things I am willing to serve my family. I try to serve my family healthy, organic food which means most things I buy are fresh so I have to shop every couple of days, another fun chore. I don't remember being told when I got married and had children that I would be in charge of dinner every day for the rest of my life! This little bit of information should be passed down from generation to generation ahead of time so one can prepare for this task or decide to stay single to avoid this albatross. To all those who are single women or know single women, please take heed or warn them of their future should they decide to get married and have a family!

How Much Art Can One Child Create?

2008-11-17T22:08:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how many art projects one child can do. Almost everyday he comes home with something he has created. Being a good mom, I can't just throw it away so I add it to the bin downstairs with all his other projects. I would look at this overflowing bin every once in a while and wonder how I was going to decide which projects to throw away as we can't keep everything. We would have a bin for every school year, 13 including kindergarten, if we kept everything. I finally came up with a great solution. I pulled out the bins and sat down with my son. I simply told him it was time to go through all of his projects and decide which ones he wanted to keep and which ones we could throw away. To my surprise, he did a great job going through everything and decided to keep about half. Then I went through the ones he wanted to throw away and pulled out a couple that I really liked and wanted to keep. It took us a good hour to go through last year's projects but we had a lot of fun. We talked about the different projects and how he made them. I would then ask him why he wanted to keep the projects he put in the "keep" pile. It made for brilliant and interesting conversation. It never ceases to amaze me how their minds work. I was very happy with the outcome of our "art project cleanup" as I not only was able to throw out projects guilt free but I also spent a wonderful hour with my son. It will be an annual ritual in our family.

Are Simple Manners a Thing of the Past?

2008-11-16T18:50:00.000-08:00

Why is good service so rare these days? In our world of competition, service is often the only way a business can differentiate themselves from the pack. Even so, it is so common to receive mediocre service. It seems today that if you simply utilize the basics of common courtesy people are surprised. Returning a phone call, saying "hello" to a customer when they walk in the door, having eye contact when you are talking to a customer, being polite and being honest are a few basics that are not the norm these days. My favorite though is in a restaurant when they are busy - you are standing at the door and employees keep walking by but no one acknowledges that you are even there! It would be nice to get a simple "Someone will be right with you". How hard is that? I can write a novel on the lack of basic manners in general. I can't even tell you how many times my son, who is 7, has held the door open for someone and they don't say "thank you" or even seem to know he is there. There are also times when someone bumps into you or you come around the corner at the same time and almost run into each other - a simple "excuse me" would be nice (that's what I say) but instead people seem to be irritated and rude. Have we reached a point where simple kindness is the exception rather than the rule? I choose to believe there is still hope and will continue to teach my son basic manners and to treat all people with respect. I teach him to be an example, not a warning. We are all busy these days but a "please", "thank you", "excuse me" or "may I help you?" can make a difference in someone's busy day.

Dogs or Kids?

2008-11-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder if just having pets would have been the way to go. They don't talk back, they are always happy when you come home (no matter how long you have been gone), they are happy with any type of food and they don't even wear clothes! Oi vey, why is it the smallest people on this earth can get the biggest reaction out of you? My pet peeve is not listening to me the first time I ask them to do something. I have no patience for repeating myself, especially when I know they heard me the first time. It can be the simplest request such as "please stop doing that" and they look at you and do it one more time. What is that? Is it just to get a rise out of me or some sort of challenge? I have had enough and recently instigated a new rule in our house - The One Time Rule. This means we say something once and if the request is not immediately responded to, it is to his room he goes. If this happens three times, yes only three times, in one week, then no play dates the next week. I know children are smarter than most of us think they are and listening the first time is not too much to ask of them. I will have to keep you updated on how the new rule is going. If it doesn't work out I can always just spend more time with the dogs - at least they listen better.

Credit Card Sharks

2008-11-11T09:02:00.001-08:00

I run a small business and like most small business owners have business credit cards. In the recent months the increase in interest has been brutal to say the least. In one month my Advanta card interest went from 7.99% to 25.08%. I called to find out why the increase happened and to try to reduce the interest and they said it was just across the board increases. I asked if the fact that I have great credit and make payments on time was taken into consideration and they said to just call back in 3 months but for now nothing could be done. As far as I am concerned this is just like loan sharking only these credit card company get to bully you in broad daylight! This is one business where government needs to step in and put a limit on the interest a credit card company can charge! What is the point of having good credit if it doesn't make any difference on how the credit card companies make decisions. I had 3 credit cards accounts with Advanta as my husband runs a business and I also am active in real estate investing and used one for that business as well. I have moved my charges from two of the Advanta accounts to our Chase card and a credit union card with acceptable interest rates. I am still working on moving the charges from the last account and when I do, I will not be using or recommending Advanta. I was happy with their services when I opened the accounts but the recent disregard for me a customer is unacceptable customer service.

A Little Family History

2008-11-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

We just watched some of our family videos - how fun is that? There are so many little things that you forget. My son loves seeing himself when he was younger. It is fun to re-live the vacations and family visits. Watching videos is a great family activity. It gets everyone talking and laughing and re-connecting. It is better than watching T.V. Sometimes I forget how many places we have gone and all the experiences we have had. Whenever we watch home videos, my son has so many questions about when he was little. I enjoy talking about what he liked at a certain age or teaching him about the places we have traveled. There are truly some hysterical videos that make me laugh so hard I can't breathe! Watching home videos is a great way to release some stress while spending some great time with my family. If you are looking for something to do with your family pull out the old videos. Trust me, they are little treasures!

I Like Being Selfish!

2008-11-09T19:33:00.000-08:00

As a mom, I know it is easy and common to put yourself last. When money is tight, we give something up. When we are running out of time, we don't do something for our self. When schedules conflict, we change ours. We feel as moms, it is our job to take care of everyone else first and then tend to our self. We even do this when we know it is not healthy. I am guilty of this myself. In the last year, I have decided that sometimes I need to be selfish and stop putting myself last. Yes, we go through times when money is tight but the one thing I will not give up is my once a month facial. It is not only something I do for myself but it is my time to relax and reflect on all the things I am grateful for in my life. It refreshes me, relaxes me and it is my treat to myself for being a great mom, wife, friend, sister, banker, cook, maid, chauffeur, nurse, assistant, dog walker, schedule coordinator, blah, blah, blah. Do I waiver sometimes, yes, but I am committed to doing this one thing for myself on a regular basis. If we have to go out for dinner one less time this month than fine, if my son doesn't get that new pair of tennis shoes this month than fine. I think the whole family should work together and make compromises when necessary. We all know the sacrifices we make as moms on a regular basis. I don't mind making sacrifices as long as I am not the only one doing it. Then you just become a martyr. Be good to yourself and do something special just for you once a month. It doesn't have to be something big, but commit to it. Write it in your calendar and treat it just like any other appointment. Try it for a couple of months and see how you feel!

And Here We Go

2008-11-07T11:40:00.000-08:00

Here we go again! Holidays are coming and so is the extra weight if you are not conscious of what you are eating. I like many others am not immune to all the high calorie food that seems to show up everywhere during the holidays. Chocolate at work, cookies at home, gift baskets coming and going! How do you get away from it? Well, don't know if you can so what I do is allow myself a treat here and there and don't feel guilty about it. What I also do is a little more exercise where and when I can. I like to work out at home and have a number of different DVDs from yoga to Tae Bo, The Firm and Reebok Step. There are workouts from 30 - 60 minutes so I just choose what fits my mood and my time frame. I don't do it everyday but try for three times a week and I feel better about those extra goodies I just can't say "no" to. I also have a mini trampoline that I bounce on while I watch TV. This is a great way to do some low impact cardio and the time goes by fast because I am distracted with the TV. The kids love this one to as it is fun for them. So don't stress out and beat yourself up if you give in to your cravings now and then. Just accept it happens at this time of year and try to counterbalance with a little more exercise! Enjoy this time of year and enjoy your family and friends.

Delegate?

2008-11-05T20:42:00.000-08:00

You would think that being a small business owner for 12 years and being a mom, I would learn to delegate more often. This seems to be the hardest thing for me to do consistently. I fall into the trap that it is just easier to do it myself or it will get done the way I want it if I just do it myself. I just hum along doing my thing and doing everybody else's stuff and then one day it is suddenly too much and everyone seems surprised. I know better, like many of us, but somehow fall back into the habit of hoarding all the work and the chores. The good news is that I am noticing sooner when I "fall of the wagon" and have less guilt in sharing the workload. As hard as it is, I have let go of the work or the chores not being done "my way". I now overlook the few things not picked up or the messy desk. It has taken me years to get to this point but the extra time it gives me to focus on things that I enjoy has been worth the journey. I just want those "non-delegators" out there to know there is hope if you just stay with it!

A Teaching Opportunity

2008-11-04T19:26:00.000-08:00

Today is a day for all parents to be a great example to their children. One of the things I am grateful for is the opportunity to vote for our president. Did I vote today? Absolutely! My son is very interested in the presidential campaign and has many questions. My job as a parent is to answer his questions as unbiased as possible and let him think for himself. He knows who I voted for but we discuss both candidates and why they are different. He asks if people do or don't vote for the president based on their race. I tell him I hope not but that unfortunately some do vote based on his race. He asks if we will be mad if our candidate doesn't get elected president. I tell him we have the honor of placing our vote but whoever wins the race will be our new President and that we don't have to agree with everything he stands for but we do respect him and support our country by supporting him. This is a teaching opportunity for your children on so many levels. I hope you voted and I hope you recognized the chance to have some interesting conversations and learn about how your children think.

Alone is Bliss

2008-11-03T18:46:00.001-08:00

Both my husband and I work from home. We both travel and after a while you get used to the alone time. I actually look forward to the time by myself as I seem to be able to accomplish so much more in my day. When you are able to work by yourself you start to realize the amount of interruptions that take place on a daily basis when you are working in an office with others. I can get done in 3 hours what someone else takes 6 hours to do when they are continually interrupted. I have worked for myself for 12 years and appreciate the fact that I can work from home, work when I choose and take time to be with my family when I choose. I know some people need the constant interaction with other employees but I cherish the peace and quiet of being in my office by myself. The noise and activity of a busy office can really be distracting and stressful. Working in a home office isn't for everyone. If you work from home, enjoy your alone time but also make sure you take time to meet outside your office or network so you don't become isolated. If you work in an office with others, try setting up some time in the day where you don't allow yourself to be interrupted, unless it is an emergency. Clarify what an emergency is to your counterparts as everyone's idea of an emergency is different. See how much you can really accomplish when you block out some alone time. I am more than happy to share some ideas on how to block out time for yourself in your day.

A Little Gratitude

2008-11-02T17:21:00.000-08:00

I am sure many of you have heard of "The Secret". If you haven't read the book or watched the movie, I highly recommend it. One of the things they talk about is gratitude. They talk about taking a little time each day and focusing on what you are grateful for in your life. We all have something to be grateful for in our lives even if it doesn't feel like in sometimes. I think it is especially important to focus on these things during times of uncertainty, when you are feeling overwhelmed or stresse. I like to wake up each morning and even before I get out of bed, I take a minute to run through the blessings in my life. It starts the day out in a positive way and simply makes me feel good. I also like to do this right before I go to bed so the last thoughts in my head before I sleep are nice ones. I have also started having my son do this at night before bedtime. I just have him think of three things he is grateful for in his life. It doesn't matter if it is a toy, a fun day or if he is grateful for his family. The point is that it is creating a wonderful night time ritual that puts him in a positive state of mind right before bed time. I have noticed that the more my family focuses on what they are grateful for, the more things we have to be grateful for in our lives. Take a moment and think about what you are grateful for today!

Doom and gloom?

2008-10-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

Is all the talk of recession, foreclosures and bank bailouts getting you depressed? It can all be so overwhelming since it is everywhere. It is the TV headlines, on the internet and front news in the papers. One can only take so much! This is one reason I don't listen to the nightly news and I skim over newspaper headlines. It is one thing to be informed and it is quite another to be innundated with all this negative information. The more you listen or read about the current happenings the more you get caught up in it and the more you focus on negative feelings. You get stressed, you worry, you get overwhelmed and feel like you are drowning with no way out. Unfortunately, we know that most news is negative because that is what gets people's attention. What I choose to do is focus on the positive things in my life and I have many things to be grateful for these days. I enjoy spending time with my family, working out and being healthy, decorating the house for Halloween, having my girls night out, enjoying the fall weather and the turning of the leaves. We may have to be aware of our spending but there is alway an ebb and flow to life and I look forward to all the wonderful things that I have yet to experience. Doom and gloom or life is an adventure and what's next? Choose to focus on the positive!

Childs Play

2008-09-15T11:46:00.000-07:00

My son just had his first flag football game this weekend and I was amazed to find that even at 6 and 7 years of age, some of the coaches are focused more on winning than on just playing the game. My son's team has 12 players and the same 4 or 5 boys sat out most of the game while the other 7 or 8 played the whole game. I sat next to one of the parents whose child played 5 minutes of a 45 minute game. How the coaches justify this type of play is beyond me. Isn't the point of playing sports at such a young age to just have fun and enjoy playing? Shouldn't every player have the chance to run with the ball or throw the ball? The same 3 boys handled the ball every time on my son's team. Two of which were the coach's sons. I find it disappointing that these coaches can't see beyond their own desire to win and that they have an opportunity to create some amazing memories for these boys. Instead some of these boys left their first game thinking they weren't good enough to play or that the coach didn't like them. What a shame and shame on the coaches for not seeing beyond their own desires. Will I be saying something to our coach? You can bet I will be having a conversation as I do not want my son playing for a coach with this mentality. I am hoping he will see an opportunity to be a great example to these boys. Wish me luck! Teresa

I just want to have a bad day!

2008-08-12T17:38:00.000-07:00

As a mom, my days are full to the brim. I get through most days feeling pretty good about how my day went. Once in a while though, I have a day that doesn't go so well. What I have come to realize is that I don’t seem to have the same freedom to have “a bad day” as my family members do.

When someone in my family has a "bad day", I do my best to listen to them, support them, boost their self confidence and just try to help them have a better day. Sometimes that means just giving them the space to work through it on their own.

When I have a "bad day", it ends up being about everyone else in the family. My husband thinks he must not be doing enough and he should be a better husband. My son thinks he did something wrong and feels bad. I end up feeling guilty about having a bad day and then end up consoling or boosting their morale again when all I want is to just be able to have a bad day!

I don't need fixing, it doesn't mean I am unhappy with my family or my life. It simply means I am human and just like everybody else, once in a while I have a bad day!

The Bucket List

2008-07-09T14:41:00.000-07:00

I just recently saw the movie "The Bucket List". It reminded me of the list I wrote when I was in college. I can't remember if it was an assignment or if I just did it on my own. I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I wanted to have, do or accomplish at that time in my life. My list has evolved since then to a 2' x 3' poster that I keep in my room. My poster is broken into time frames such as 3 months, 6 months, 1 year and 5 years. I simply keep a little stack of Post-its by my poster and every time something new pops into my head, I write it down and stick it in the appropriate time frame of when I would like my item or request to manifest. When I achieve something I write "done" and the date on the Post-it and leave it on my poster so I can see all the things I have achieved. If I don't acheive something in my initial time frame, I just move the Post-it to the next time frame and give myself more time. It is a fun way to see your goals on a daily basis and see what you have accomplished. Teresa

Food Allergies

2008-06-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

I find it interesting that there seem to be more and more food allergies that children are having these days. I am sure most of you have children at your child’s school who have peanut allergies as well as other food allergies. I don’t remember any kids having these types of food allergies when I was in school. It makes me wonder if these allergies are a result of the way food is grown and processed these days. With all the chemicals and such that we use to eliminate pests and make food grow faster, I wonder if these chemicals are getting into some of the food we eat and altering its makeup enough to cause allergic reactions. This is just another reason I opt for organic food whenever possible. This is especially important when I buy foods where the skin or outside of the food is consumed. Items such as carrots, broccoli, potatoes and the like don’t have an outer shell that helps protect them from the chemicals. Yes, they cost more but I am okay with spending a little more to keep my family as chemical free as possible. Teresa

Childhood Games

2008-05-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

I was in the mall with my son not too long ago when we passed by a game store. Thinking it was a toy store, my son asked if we could go in. We were just browsing around the mall so I said we could go inside. Once inside I started looking at all the board games and was seeing all the games my sister and I used to play when we were kids. Needless to say, it brought back a lot of fun memories. I decided to buy Monopoly so we could play at home. My sister and I used to set it up on our card table and play one game for weeks! We would run out of money and have to keep track on a notepad. When my son and I opened the game, a flood of memories came back. I had to have the "dog" as my game piece as that is what I always had as a child. All my son wanted to know was how to get a hotel on his property. (Hopefully a sign of the future!) Anyhow, we played for a while until it was bed time and now the game is sitting on the table "to be continued". We are having a lot of fun playing and it is pretty cool to be playing the same games with my son that I used to play with my sister. Teresa

Airport Bathrooms

2008-05-02T16:01:00.000-07:00

I was recently traveling and like usual, had to make a quick stop in the ladies room at the airport. Here’s my question - why don’t they make the stalls in the airport bathrooms larger? It can be quite comical trying to get yourself and your luggage into one of the stalls, close the door and still have room to sit down on the toilet! Then if you have kids, ha! Of course, you can’t leave them outside the stall because someone might take them so in they go! You try to undress, not trip over your luggage and/or your kids, maneuver to change places because they have to go too, all in a space about the size of a hall closet. Then there is the issue of your purse, diaper bag or smaller carry-on items. If there even is a hook or small shelf, it holds one item so what do you do with the rest? I don’t know about you but there has been more than one time where I am trying to go to the bathroom while holding my purse or other carry-on in my lap. That is always a joy as you are trying to re-dress with one hand as you are holding this item because you certainly aren’t going to set it on the dirty floor! The whole process could be a Seinfeld episode. All I want is a bathroom stall where I don't feel like I am stuffed into a telephone booth! Teresa

Desperately seeking hair advice

2008-04-28T17:06:00.000-07:00

My hair is driving me crazy! What am I doing wrong these last 18 months? I’ve been doing the same routine for years but this last year and a half my hair has decided it’s just going to rebel. I use excellent products, I stopped using heating elements like my beloved curling iron (my lower lip is thrust out right now), I wash only every other day (will go for an extra if my hubby is out of town), what else can I do but to just pull a “Britney”, shave it and start over? It’s just breaking off almost as quickly as it’s growing. And I know it’s still growing fast as I need to fork over the bucks to get the flippin’ roots done on a regular basis. Perhaps age? Once you pass the 45 mark does your hair just start going “no, I demand you just cut me off, get a perm and go gray. Oh and buy some sensible shoes while your at it!”? Someone said pre-natal vitamins are the key – that you don’t have to be pregnant to reap the hair benefits these little magic pills provide. I’m not sold on that yet though. Any insights out there? I could use some helpful “hairapeutic” tips!

Why do we only get ONE day??

2008-03-29T13:56:00.001-07:00

This blog was originally published on 5-1-2007

Mother's Day is approaching and I get the usual question of "What do you want for Mother's Day?" My answer this year is "A day to myself!" I had a hard time with that as like most moms, the guilt creeps in. This year, the guilt is being left outside the front door. Those of you with family health issues know that it can take its toll on you physically, mentally and spiritually. As the caregiver, we spend our time focusing even more on the person with the health issue. With my husband's health challenge this year, I have decided that I really need a day to myself to do whatever I please. I haven't decided yet, but I might get a massage, have a quiet lunch by myself, read a book, just sit in the sun and maybe even take a nap!!! I need to re-energize and focus on me for the day. I am actually a little giddy thinking about it. I just don't know what I should do as I don't get this opportunity very often. I love my family very much and enjoy spending time with them whenever I get the chance but I also recognize the need to have time to myself and not have to be "mom" or "wife". I am looking forward to a fun and relaxing day to myself and then coming back to my family rejuvenated.
Teresa

Red light, green light - is this really best for kids?

2008-03-29T13:55:00.001-07:00

This blog was originally published on 4-14-2007

The end of another busy week and also another disappointing Friday for my 6 year old. When did schools start rating kindergartener's on their behavior for the day? I don't remember getting a red, yellow or green light every day based on if I sat still and didn't do anything that interrupted the class. I certainly understand the need to try to control a class of little ones so you can attempt to teach them something that day, but is giving a child a red light because they just can't stop giggling and wiggling during reading time really the best option.

My 6 year old son, Greyson, has had one, yes only one, week of all green light days. The only way he gets a treasure from his teacher at the end of the week is if every day that week is a green light. As the mother of a very active and healthy 6 year old, a week of perfect behavior with no messing around, laughing or talking at the incorrect time is like trying to control the weather. My son cries almost every Friday because he thinks he is a bad kid because he did not get green every day and didn't get treasure box. I spend every Friday afternoon explaining to him that yellow or red does not mean he is a bad kid and we have had to create our own treasure box. It concerns me that schools are setting up some of these kids to feel like failures before they even get into first grade. I would personally rather have a happy, independent, energetic child than one who suppresses their personality so they don't get reprimanded.

I am looking forward to the summer where he doesn't have to worry about having a green light every day. He can just be an active, rambunctious, happy 6 year old! Teresa

Choosing to be happy in the face of difficult odds

2008-03-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

This blog was originally published on 4-1-2007

These last few months have been a whirlwind. My husband, Joe, was recently diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma so I have been immersed in traveling to the center every two weeks, getting the treatments, taking medications, learning about Hodgkins, and doing what I can to get him healthly while still taking care of all the other family and household needs.

People ask me how I do it and how I stay so positive. My answer is simple. I wake up every morning and get to choose how I am going to feel today. I choose to focus on all the wonderful things in my life and on Joe's complete healing.

Events may happen to us that seem out of our control but we can always choose how we want to react to them. As my husband's treatments come to a close and we head off to have him re-tested so we can see his progress, I focus on his healing and know that he is getting closer to being 100% healthy again.

We are looking forward to putting this in our past and focusing on our future.

Try something new!

2008-03-29T13:50:00.002-07:00

This blog was originall published on 2/29/2008

Starting in February, I made an agreement with myself to try something new every month. It doesn�t have to be something big just something new. It can be taking a new route on my walk, trying a new restaurant, taking a lesson, changing up a weekly routine or doing a new form of exercise. This month I tried rock climbing at a local rock climbing gym and it was great! I didn�t get very far up the rock wall but just the anticipation of climbing and being nervous was really fun! Often times as moms, we get so caught up in our routines that we don�t experience the thrill of something new or getting those butterflies in our stomach (from a good thing). I was missing the anticipation of trying something I wasn�t familiar with and conquering it! I was nervous and actually got a little nausea at first but was determined to try it and now it is a goal of mine to get to the top. I am going to keep going to the rock climbing gym as it is a great workout, a new challenge and something we can even do as a family. My 7 year old son loves it. I encourage you to try something new each month and experience again the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. It makes you feel young again!
Teresa

I did it! I took a "me" day!

2008-03-29T13:50:00.001-07:00

This blog was originally published on 6/26/2007

I did it! I took a "me" day! A few girlfriends and myself actually booked a hotel room, right here in town, for us to have a girls night. It wasn't easy leaving. I had to make sure my husband knew my son's schedule for the next 24 hours, write checks for camp and karate, water the plants, make sure there was food for lunch and dinner, wash clothes so my son had his favorite shirt for Fun Friday and pack my own bag.

I picked up one of the girls whose son was in tears because mommy was leaving for the night. After she assured him daddy could take care of him, we were off to the hotel. Thirty minutes later we were checked in and headed down to the pool where we had drinks and lunch (served by someone else)! They had those little flags on the chairs so if you needed anything, you just put your flag up. I wondered if the flags would work at home.

We spent a glorious afternoon at the pool just relaxing and being waited on by others. We finally dragged ourselves from the pool to get ready for a nice dinner out. We enjoyed a relaxing, calm and adult conversation dinner. No bickering, no spilled drinks and no cleaning up the dishes! It was fabulous. We went back to our hotel room where we sat out on the balcony and drank wine, laughed, talked about our families and wondered why it took us so long to do this.

Finally, off to bed for a night of uninterrupted sleep and getting to sleep in (that alone was worth the cost of the room). In the morning we had a leisurely breakfast (again served by someone else) and took our time before we headed for home.

I admit I had to work through a little bit of guilt but got over it quickly once I was floating in the pool with a Pina Colada. We decided this was the first of many mini breaks we are going to commit to taking every year for our sake as well as the sake of our families. I came back refreshed and happy to see my family. Teresa

Aren't we ALL "working moms" - and who came up with these titles anyway???

2008-03-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

This blog was originally published on 5/12/2007

The phrases "stay at home mom" and "working mom" really bug me. After all, aren't all us moms working? It really is just a matter of how many jobs we have. To me the implication is that if you are a mother who is not working at a job outside your home and family, then you are not actually working! Ha! Excuse me? It's right up there with the phrase "working class". Implying if one doesn't fall into a certain income bracket, designated by the government, then one is not actually working for their income. What other job requires a person to be on duty 24/7 including holidays? Is it just me? Not only are they grossly misleading, but they promote divisiveness.

The last thing mothers, and women in general, need is to be judgemental and unsupportive of each other's choices when it comes to caring for themselves and their families.

I repeat: all moms work. I think we need to come up with some other form of reference that doesn't make one set of moms feel, inferior, guilty, or judged by the other. Some mothers work revolves strictly around their family and home, others revolves around family, home, and an additional outside job or career. I don't believe one way is superior over the other, just different approaches. Both ways have been proven to produce happy, healthy families.

I would love to come up with some more appropriate phrases for our different categories of moms who are all working almost all the time! Loree

One of my New Year's resolutions...

2008-03-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

One of my New Year's resolutions this year was to balance my time better between myself, my husband, and my family. And I must admit it's going well. So when my husband said he needed to be in New Orleans on business tied in with Mardi Gras and asked me to go with him I said sure! It began as a 4 day trip (perfect), but then he thought it would be a good idea to tack on a couple extra days after business was over to just hang out and relax. Hmm, ok, 6 days now (you sense my hesitance don't you). When you factor in the recovery time one needs upon returning home from 6 days in New Orleans over Mardi Gras you�re now up to about 9 days off. So much for balance. Anyway...

It was my first Mardi Gras and, well, all I can say is OH MY! Who knew? I thought it was all about party-crazed people drinking in the streets and flashing for plastic beads (a curious tradition). Well actually, that is a big part of it, but all kidding aside, the attraction to Mardi Gras is a much bigger deal than I would have ever guessed. There is a parade every day for 2 weeks (this is a long celebration) and two of those parades have a celebrity monarch every year. This year Hulk Hogan (who doesn't love this guy?) reigned as the King of Bacchus and Kevin Costner (yeah, he doesn't suck either) as the king of Endymion. Families stake out and camp in their places on the streets days beforehand to watch these parades. It's a huge event and generates tons of much needed funds for the city.

The festivities were all really fun of course, but the biggest impression was made when we toured the areas devastated by Katrina. It's one thing to see it on TV, but driving through it and seeing all the families still living in tents on the side of the road has an entirely different impact on a person. The leak in my roof that I needed to attend to when I got home no longer seemed like such an overwhelming task. Nor did the rest of my to-do list that I knew was growing by the hour as I was enjoying my 6 days in Cajun country. (As I expected, on the 4th day hubby says, what was I thinking? We probably should've gone home today.)

On the plane heading home I didn't think about what I had to do when I got there, but instead I basked in the glow of what I got to experience in New Orleans and reflected once again on all I have to be grateful for . Then I fell asleep! Mardi Gras is exhausting. Loree